I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize