Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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