How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Randomize
