Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
