so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize