Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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