He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
