Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
