i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
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