New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
