Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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