Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Randomize
