you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
