erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
