We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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