No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
