you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
