we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
