dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
