can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
