I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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