When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
