If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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