You're my little dorito
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I CAN MOONWALK!
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
