I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Randomize
