There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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