Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
My cat gives me a boner
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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