what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I want to fling myself into the sun
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
