it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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