i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
