Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
