he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
