she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
honey bunches of taint.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
