Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
