dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
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