Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize