thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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