got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Dear god my vagina.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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