So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
This couple is walking their pig around campus
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
