i was born a porn star she said
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
