I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Randomize
