I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
So. Much. Porn.
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