you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
