the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize