plz talk dirty to me
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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