Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
