He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
