if you like me you must not know who I am
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
