I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
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