whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
