They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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