The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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