gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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