my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
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