I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
