He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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