she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize
