Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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