that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
