dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
